Gay Conversion Therapy Survivor Shares Her Story

Julie Rodgers: Pray Away the Gay

For years, Julie Rodgers’s entire life revolved around trying not to be gay. She grew up in an Evangelical Christian family, hearing that she was “depraved, disgusting, broken, an enemy of God.” In her new memoir, Outlove: A Queer Christian Survival Story (Broadleaf Books, $24.99 paper; June 22, 2021), Rodgers tells how she went from ex-gay poster child to helping bring down Exodus, the largest ex-gay organization in the world, and to building a whole, healthy, and happy life with her wife Amanda Hite.

Rodgers’s story is featured in the documentary Pray Away, executive-produced by Ryan Murphy, which will debut on the streaming service in August, 2021. A Tribeca Festival Official Selection (2020), it will be shown at this year’s festival, in a sold-out screening on June 16.

Rodgers grew up at the center of the debate between Evangelical Christians and the LGBTQ community—a battle that continues to rage in headlines and courtrooms across the country. Hers is a painful coming of age story: a teenage girl who wants to be “good,” to be loved, to belong, but whose own mother considers her an abomination. When she came out to her family at 16, she was immediately enrolled at a conversion therapy ministry called Living Hope—an organization that is active and growing to this day. Conversion therapy has been widely discredited by medical and psychiatric organizations. Rodgers hopes her story will help young LGBTQ people who have been harmed by efforts to change their orientation.

Julie’s story is also that of a naive, earnest young woman who began to understand how she was being used by evangelical leaders to support their narrative about homosexuality, and to protect them from being branded as bigots. “I was seen as one of a handful of unicorn gays who would parrot conservative views and shield them from accusations of homophobia,” she writes of her time as a speaker at Q conferences and as the first openly gay associate chaplain at Wheaton College, an Evangelical school. “I was a pawn in their battle against my own people.”

All the while, she was self-harming, beset by self-loathing. “What’s a queer person to do,” she asks, “when the only people we’ve ever known and loved believe our love is disordered and our bodies are broken?”

“Evangelical leaders had willfully lied about the people I loved,” Rodgers writes. “They actively spun stories that denigrated beautiful queer people, drumming up fear in Evangelicals to mobilize them to support their preferred policies in every sphere of society.”

After years of trying to fit in to the conservative world she had grown up in, Julie “didn’t have the will to live another day at the center of the evangelical debate about queer people.”

Now 35, Rodgers is comfortable in the skin she once burned—out, affirming, feminist, politically progressive, and still Christian. Her faith looks a lot different now, with more room for mystery and more questions than answers. “The day I married Amanda I bore my scars with pride in a sleeveless gown. I thought they told a story about neurotic queer who was broken and deranged. I finally understood the scars told a story of a girl who was born into a system that tried to kill her and by the grace of God, I survived.”

About the author:
Julie Rodgers is a writer, speaker, and leader in the movement working for full inclusion for LGBTQ people in Christian communities. She is featured in Pray Away (2020), a documentary about the moment to pray the gay away. Her writing has been featured in The New York Times, The Washington Post, and Time. Through her writing and speaking, Julie inspires people to reimagine belonging with her queer reflections on faith, public life, and chosen family.

From GLSEN: 10 Ways Educators Can Support Asexual Students

How to support Asexual Students

For many GSAs and school communities, the topic of asexuality is either unseen, unheard, or not present. Whether or not you currently have any out asexual people in your GSA or school, celebrating asexual visibility is an important supportive act and may help asexual people discover, or come out about, their identities.

To begin in your support of asexual students, start by knowing these definitions:

Asexual: Someone who does not experience sexual attraction. (Defined by AVEN)

Aphobic/Acephobic: The discrimination against asexual or aromantic people.

Demisexual: Someone who only experiences sexual attraction after an emotional bond has been formed. This bond does not have to be romantic in nature. (Defined by AVEN)

Heteronormativity: The assumption that heterosexual identity is the norm, which plays out in interpersonal interactions and institutional privileges that further the marginalization of people who are not heterosexual, such as asexual, lesbian, gay, and bisexual people.

Here are some ways to deepen your practice in supporting asexual youth:

1. Remember that identity is multifaceted. A student’s identity as asexual will be impacted by other identities they hold such as their race, sexual orientation, gender, ability, and/or class. All these various identities may affect the way that this person interacts with their asexual identity and how others may perceive their identity operating outside of heteronormativity. That being said, students may hold multiple identities such as being asexual and also lesbian, gay, bisexual, queer, and/or trans.

2. Learn about the asexual identity spectrum. This will provide a foundation for learning about the nuances between asexual identities and establish a common language to speak about them. In doing your own research, you shift the burden of education away from the marginalized community and provide them the space of sharing their lived experiences instead of generalities or feeling like they are representing an entire identity.

3. Respect all types of relationships. There are nuances between asexual identities and relationships. Your students, including your asexual students, may be interested in romantic or non-romantic relationships, and that’s okay. Know that wherever they fall on the asexual spectrum, their relationships are valid, too.

4. Approach asexuality with an open mind and avoid misappropriation. Use resources such Information for Educators, provided by AVEN, and Ace Inclusivity by the Safe Zone Project to learn more about asexuality. Put in the effort to learn the correct terms and to use them in appropriate ways. It’s fine to have questions, but be open-minded and receptive while listening to those who decide to share, and again, be sure to start by doing your own research.

5. Promote asexual visibility. Celebrate Asexual Visibility Week every October! Also continue throughout the year by including asexual identities, experiences, icons, and history in topics talked about with your students.

6. Protect asexual students who’ve received aphobic harassment. Validate student experiences of harassment that are shared with you. Check the anti-bullying policies for your school and see how they can help you to intervene on behalf of your asexual students.

7. Affirm their experiences as asexual people. Listen to how people identify and affirm experiences that are shared with you, rather than questioning them. Use terms that students use to describe themselves, their feelings, and their relationships.

8. Include asexual-inclusive sex-ed curricula and consent information. Consent should be at the foundation of any topic regarding relationships, and asexual relationships should be included in these discussions. Sexual health educators should teach that not everyone is sexually active and also discuss the asexual spectrum with their students .

9. Don’t affirm asexuality for the wrong reasons (e.g., “Well, now no one has to worry about you getting pregnant or getting STIs anymore!”) Affirming should look like listening and validating what students share with you about their identity and experiences.

10. Understand what allyship looks like. If you yourself are not asexual, you hold a perspective that may prevent you from fully grasping the unique and abstract concepts that impact the daily experiences of members of the asexual community. This is a practice and not a destination. Continue to defer to people in the asexual community; learn from them sharing, and advocate for their visibility and integration whether they’re present or not.

When implementing these asexual-inclusive practices, understand that as educators and GSA advisors, you should provide education and conversations around asexual identity. If you have out asexual GSA members, be sure to create space for them to share and lead the conversation should they choose to. You can invite them to educate others with their own experiences and challenge misconceptions and stereotypes about asexual people.

As the adults in school, you can support your students by continuing to learn about all of the identities and experiences that they have. To keep learning about asexual people and identities, follow these links:

AVEN (Asexual Visibility and Education Network)

Demisexuality.org

Asexuality Archive

Asexuality: The ‘X’ In A Sexual World

The Invisible Orientation

Asexuality Top Ten

(reprinted from the GLSEN website)

Rehoboth Beach Gay Bars, Clubs, and Restaurants

Gay Rehoboth Beach

Aqua Bar and Grill
Popular LGBTQ restaurant features full bar, outdoor patio, Sunday brunch, tea dances, video bar & regular themed events.
www.aquarehoboth.com
57 Baltimore Ave, Rehoboth Beach, DE 19971 | Directions

Diego’s Bar and Nightclub
Diego’s Bar and Nighclub boasts Rehoboth Beach’s largest dance floor, plus a patio and plenty of outdoor seating. Regular happy hour specials.
www.diegosbarnightclub.com
57 Baltimore Avenue, Rehoboth Beach, DE 19971 | Directions

Purple Parrot
Gay bar & restaurant with burgers & beer, bright cartoon murals & regular live entertainment. The bier garten in back is a beautiful outdoor space with a key west feel, and a frequent gathering spot
www.ppgrill.com
134 Rehoboth Ave, Rehoboth Beach, DE 19971 | Directions

Port 251
This gay friendly spot has great food and unique drinks, not to mention an amazing Drag Brunch!
www.fb.com/Port251
251 Rehoboth Ave, Rehoboth Beach, DE 19971 | Directions

The Blue Moon
A wonderful place to go for dinner and a show. Bright, remodeled Craftsman cottage serving upscale American fare with regular live entertainment including local legend Magnolia Applebottom.
www.bluemoonrehoboth.com
35 Baltimore Avenue, Rehoboth Beach, DE 19971 | Directions

The Pines
This gay gathering spot is a classic tavern with a modern interpretation and unique menus. The Top of the pines is a dining, live entertainment, and event/catering venue space; a place where people can gather to eat, drink, and enjoy some of the best entertainment in the area including local legend Pamela Stanley.
www.thepinesrb.com
56 Baltimore Ave, Rehoboth Beach, DE 19971 | Directions

Victory Fund Endorses Alex Wan in Race for Georgia House District 57

Alex Wan Atlanta

Former Atlanta City Councilmember Alex Wan, a long-time Morningside homeowner and civic leader, has been endorsed by Gay & Lesbian Victory Fund in the race for Georgia State House District 57. Victory Fund (www.VictoryFund.org) is the only national organization dedicated to electing LGBTQ people to public office.

“LGBTQ Victory Fund endorsed Alex in his previous races and is pleased to endorse his bid to continue serving Georgians, this time under the Gold Dome,” says Mayor Annise Parker, Victory Fund President & CEO. “During his 8 years on Atlanta City Council and since, Alex has worked with friends and neighbors across the district, tackling the community’s shared challenges. He is well-positioned at this critical juncture in our history to continue fighting for those issues in the State Legislature.”

Wan announced his bid to represent Georgia State House District 57, following the December announcement by State Rep. Pat Gardner that she will retire after the 2020 General Assembly. This endorsement signals Victory Fund’s confidence that Wan is ideally suited to represent District 57 and will be a strong voice for equity and equality in the Legislature.

“I am honored by the support of Victory Fund,” says Wan, who has called District 57 home for more than 25 years. “As I have said before, Victory Fund’s candidate training and support played an important part in my public service journey. As I continue fighting for the progressive, inclusive values we share as Atlantans, I am proud to do so with the support of the LGBTQ Victory Fund.”

Wan served as an Atlanta City Council member for Council District 6, which overlays much of House District 57, for 8 years. Wan was the first Asian American and first openly gay man elected to the Atlanta City Council. Since that time, he continues his community service as the Fulton/Atlanta citizen representative on the Atlanta Regional Commission Board and as a member of the Mayor’s LGBTQ Advisory Board.

“I hope that my service to our district since I moved here over 25 years ago has demonstrated the kind of representative I will be,” Wan says. “Voters know my values. They know my commitment to service. They know that I’m accessible. And voters know that my experience on the Atlanta City Council and relationships I have developed with state and national elected officials will be invaluable.”

His professional experience includes the private, public, non-profit and higher-education sectors. He is Executive Director of Horizons Atlanta, a nonprofit that provides tuition-free summer enrichment programs for children from traditionally underserved communities. Wan holds a Bachelor’s in Industrial Engineering from Georgia Tech and a Finance MBA from Wharton Business School and has completed educational programs at Dartmouth and Harvard.

Members of the Georgia House are elected for two-year terms, with the election to be held in November 2020, taking office in January 2021. Wan notes that redistricting that results from the 2020 Census will take place in the Fall of 2021, and that we need legislators in place who will approach that process fairly.

For more information about Wan and his campaign: www.AlexWanForAtlanta.com.

Glitter + Ashes: Queer Tales of a World That Wouldn’t Die

Before I start talking about dave ring you should know that the lower case ‘d’ and lower case ‘r’ in his name are intentional. That’s how he spells his name. If the choice strikes you as understated, or even humble, then it is an appropriate introduction. to the person.

dave ring is the chair of the OutWrite LGBT Book Festival. For someone who has contributed so much, he is indeed humble, and, more importantly an individual who constantly centers and uplifts a wide variety of authors. While I may have founded the festival years ago, it is volunteers like Dan Vera, Julie Enszer, and currently dave ring who have been the heart and soul of this event, which has become the biggest and most diverse celebration of queer literature on the East Coast.

dave has stories featured or forthcoming in a number of publications, including Speculative City, GlitterShip, and A Punk Rock Future. He is the publisher and managing editor of Neon Hemlock Press, as well as the editor of Broken Metropolis: Queer Tales of a City That Never Was from Mason Jar Press.

His most recent project is an anthology of post-apocalyptic short stories entitled “Glitter + Ashes: Queer Tales of a World That Wouldn’t Die”. dave writes ” Our aim is to feature speculative stories that explore ramifications of the apocalypse through queer narratives. We want queer stories and we want trans stories and we want indefinable stories.  We will welcome a broad interpretation of the post-apocalyptic genre; we’ll want to finds scraps of hope in every ruined future.”

This project is being funded on Kickstarter. I hope you will join me in supporting this project by ordering an advance copy of the book online today.

Click here to visit the Kickstarter Page for Glitter + Ashes

Find out more about my friend Dave Ring at www.dave-ring.com

Saying Goodbye to the DC Center for the LGBT Community

Dear Friends

In 1999, the Cherry Fund and Whitman Walker Clinic formed an Ad Hoc Committee to create an LGBT Community Center in the District. That vision became a reality when the DC Center for the LGBT Community was incorporated in 2004 with signatories Patrick Menasco, Jeff Englar, Larry Stansbury, and Ed Craft.  

As we celebrate our 15th Anniversary this year, I hope we all take time to celebrate the many visionary board members, staff, volunteers, and community partners who have brought us to this point, including our past board chairs Michael Sessa and Michael Fowler, and our current board co-chairs Rehana Mohammed and Jonathan Gilad.

2019 also marks my 11th and final year at the DC Center.   September 30th will be my last day serving as Executive Director of this remarkable organization.  While I look forward to the opportunities in my future, the DC Center will always hold a very special place in my heart.

I will spend my remaining time here assuring a smooth and strategic transition.   2020 will be a year of growth for the DC Center with a significant increase in grant funding. This includes a groundbreaking grant from DC Department of Aging and Community Living (DACL).   This grant, which will help us better serve older LGBTQ adults, is the first grant ever given by DACL to an LGBT organization.

I am grateful to be able to leave the DC Center in the hands of very capable board members and staff,   It is the right time to make way for new leadership, ideas, and vision.   I look forward to seeing where we go from here.

Please make plans to join me at the DC Center Fall Reception on Friday September 13th at the Warner Building celebrate our 15th Anniversary.   Purchase your tickets now at: thedccenter.org/events/fifteen

Best Regards,

David Mariner

HRC Endorses Sarah McBride

Sarah McBride

Today, HRC endorsed history-maker Sarah McBride in her bid for the Delaware State Senate. 

If elected, McBride will become the first openly transgender person to serve in a State Senate anywhere in the United States. McBride created history most recently in 2016 as the first openly transgender person to speak at a major national party convention when she addressed the 2016 Democratic National Convention in Philadelphia. 

“From the Delaware General Assembly to the halls of the White House and Congress, Sarah McBride has demonstrated her ability to bring about change,” said HRC President Alphonso David. “At a time when equality is under attack at the federal level, it has never been more important for states like Delaware to show the nation what is possible when we reject the politics of division and embrace the politics of progress. We’re proud to endorse Sarah’s historic candidacy, and cannot wait to call her Senator McBride.”

Sarah McBride has spent her life fighting for dignity and a fair shot for everyone. In 2013, McBride led the successful effort to pass a landmark non-discrimination bill in Delaware. Since then, she’s helped inspire our nation with her own personal story and her historic work both in Delaware and around the country.

As a leading voice in the fight for LGBTQ equality, McBride was instrumental ushering in historic progress under the Obama administration and in the recent passage of the Equality Act in the U.S. House of Representatives, the first time in American history a chamber of Congress passed a comprehensive LGBTQ civil rights bill. McBride has been a vocal advocate against gender-based violence, for voting rights, for common-sense gun safety measures, for comprehensive health care and for economic opportunity for all.

Sarah has served as National Press Secretary for the Human Rights Campaign since 2016 and a member of the Board of Directors of Equality Delaware since 2013. Prior to joining HRC, McBride served as the Campaigns and Communications Manager for LGBT Research and Communications Project at the Center for American Progress (CAP). McBride has also worked for Governor Jack Markell (D-DE) and former Attorney General Beau Biden (D-DE). McBride was the first out transgender woman to intern at the White House, and graduated from American University. During her time at American University, she served as student body president and made national headlines when she came out as transgender in the student newspaper.

DesiQ Diaspora Call For Proposals

Desi Queer Diaspora Call for Proposals

NQAPIA is currently accepting proposals for Desi Queer Diaspora (DQD) 2020, to be held in Austin, Texas from May 15-17, 2020. Proposals will be accepted from August 12, 2019 until December 1st, 2019 at 11:59pm EST. Late proposals may be considered at the discretion of the DQD planning committee.

The term proposals references everything from discussion circles, movie showings, workshops, presentations, classes, panels  and much more. Proposals may address a wide variety of topics, and we welcome proposals from anyone who identifies as queer and/or tgnc and traces their family ancestry to South Asia and the diaspora. As you develop your proposal, please keep in mind that sessions will be 90 minutes.

Proposals will be reviewed by a team of DQD steering committee members and members of the conference proposal review committee. As we review proposals, we are committed to developing a conference schedule that covers a wide variety of interest to the community, as reflected in our community survey as well as session presenters that are representative of our community across class, caste, country of origin, religion, gender identity, gender expression, sex characteristics, and sexual orientation. NQAPIA also plan to organize specific panels to represent and reflect on the diversity of our community.

NQAPIA will let you know whether your proposal was accepted (or not) by February 1st, 2020. We will be accepting 27 workshops total. We ask that you accept the offer to present at the conference by February 15th, 2020. If you present at the conference, we will offer free registration. Note that for each session, there is a maximum of two presenters. If your proposal is not initially accepted, you may be placed on a waitlist and eventually be asked to present if other presenters drop out.

Find out more at: desiqdiaspora.org

Alzheimers and Dimentia in the LGBTQ Community

Alzheimers & Dimentia in the LGBTQ Community

New research reported at the Alzheimer’s Association International Conference (AAIC) 2019 in Los Angeles found higher rates of subjective cognitive decline among lesbian, gay, bisexual and/or transgender (LGBT) Americans compared to their cisgender* heterosexual counterparts. In the study, subjective cognitive decline (SCD) was defined as self-reported confusion or memory problems that have been getting worse over the past year.

Another study presented at AAIC 2019 investigated the effectiveness of a first-of-its-kind Alzheimer’s intervention designed specifically to improve physical function and independence for LGBT older individuals with dementia and their caregivers. The study, conducted by researchers at the University of Washington, showed the importance of tailored interventions and strong community partnerships in designing care for LGBT individuals.

“Much too little is known about Alzheimer’s disease and dementia in the LGBT community. In fact, the first data on the prevalence of dementia among sexual and gender minorities was reported only last year at AAIC 2018,” said Maria C. Carrillo, PhD, Alzheimer’s Association chief science officer.

“As expanding research efforts continue to teach us more about the variability of Alzheimer’s and other dementias — for example by sex, race, genetics and exposure to environmental factors — the Alzheimer’s Association will fund, and encourage others to fund, more studies in LGBT and other diverse populations,” Carrillo added.

Increased Risk for Subjective Cognitive Decline Among Sexual and Gender Minorities
Few studies have investigated the symptoms and disease progression of Alzheimer’s and other dementias in the LGBT community. To examine these associations, Jason Flatt, PhD, MPH, assistant professor at the Institute for Health & Aging at the University of California, San Francisco, and colleagues analyzed data from the 2015 Behavioral Risk Factor Surveillance System (BRFSS), a large phone-based survey led by the Centers for Disease Control and Prevention.

The study analyzed data from 44,403 adults aged 45 and older across nine states in the U.S. (Georgia, Hawaii, Illinois, Minnesota, Nevada, Ohio, Virginia, West Virginia and Wisconsin) that participated in the 2015 BRFSS optional modules on the Healthy Brain Initiative, which included subjective cognitive decline and Sexual Orientation and Gender Identity. Roughly three percent of participants (1,253) identified as a sexual or gender minority (SGM). Subjective cognitive decline was defined as self-reported confusion or memory problems that have been getting worse over the past year.

The researchers found that more than 14% of SGM participants reported subjective cognitive decline, significantly higher (p<0.0001) than the 10% rate among cisgender heterosexual participants. Even after adjusting for factors such as income, age and race, SGM participants were 29% more likely to report subjective cognitive decline. More research is needed to understand why subjective cognitive decline may be higher in SGM individuals.

“Given that 1 in 7 adults who identified as a sexual or gender minority reported subjective cognitive decline, it is critical that more opportunities exist for people in these communities to receive regular evaluation for cognitive impairment and Alzheimer’s disease,” Flatt said. “There is also a need for greater education on Alzheimer’s risk, signs and symptoms, and training of health care providers to ensure inclusive and welcoming care for LGBTQ+ populations.”

“While we do not yet know for certain why sexual or gender minority individuals had higher subjective cognitive decline, we believe it may be due to higher rates of depression, inability to work, high stress, and a lack of regular access to healthcare,” Flatt added.

According to Flatt, less than half of SGM adults with SCD in the study talked to their health care provider about it. SGM adults with SCD were also more likely to report that they had to give up day-to-day activities (39% vs. 29%, p=0.003) and needed help with household tasks (44% vs. 35%, p=0.01) than cisgender heterosexual participants. Both groups were similar in terms of talking to their health care provider about their subjective cognitive decline.

First Study of an LGBT-Specific Alzheimer’s and Dementia Intervention
To advance research into Alzheimer’s in the LGBT community, Karen Fredriksen-Goldsen, PhD, professor and director of Healthy Generations Hartford Center of Excellence at the University of Washington, created the Aging with Pride: Innovations in Dementia Empowerment and Action (IDEA) study. A multisite study in Seattle, San Francisco, and Los Angeles, Aging with Pride: IDEA is the first federally-funded study dementia intervention specifically designed for LGBT older adults with dementia and their caregivers.

The researchers had previously identified unique risk factors of LGBT older adults living with dementia through the first longitudinal study of this population (Aging with Pride: National Health, Aging, and Sexuality/Gender Study). Using longitudinal data with three time points (2014, 2015 and 2016), modifiable factors predicting physical functioning and quality of life (QOL) among LGBT older adults with dementia (n=646) were identified.

LGBT older adults living with dementia were significantly more likely to live alone (nearly 60%), not be partnered or married (65%), not have children (72%), and not have a caregiver (59%), when compared to older non-LGBT adults living with dementia. Previous experiences of discrimination and victimization (b=-0.19, p<.001) were negatively associated with QOL among LGBT older adults living with dementia. Socializing with friends or family (b=1.11, p<.05) was positively associated with QOL, and physical activity (b = 0.26, p<.001) were associated with better physical functioning.

As reported at AAIC 2019, Aging with Pride: IDEA includes a tailored approach in which trained coaches identify and modify challenging behaviors that are adversely affecting older adults living with dementia and their caregivers, either of whom are LGBT. The coaches delivered an individualized program of exercise, and behavioral and coping strategies designed to improve physical function, independence and QOL.

The exercise intervention is a low-impact physical exercise program including nine one-hour sessions over six weeks designed to improve physical functioning and maintain independence. The behavior and coping strategies include: techniques for working with LGBT-specific trauma, identity management and disclosure of their LGBT identities to providers and others, plus support engagement in the LGBT community and dementia services. Testing of the intervention is now underway and will be delivered to 225 pairs of LGBT older adults living with dementia and their caregivers.

“Given their lifetime experiences of victimization, discrimination and bias, many LGBT older adults forgo seeking needed medical care,” said Fredriksen Goldsen. “LGBT people living with dementia and their caregivers often have difficulty accessing information and support services, which can be especially challenging when memory loss and dementia enter the equation.”