Conor Leach: The Crazy Side of Queer Connection

Conor Leach

‘Sequin In a Blue Room’ star Conor Leach talks playing a slutty queer teen
By Lawrence Ferber

Watch Sequin In A Blue Room on Amazon Prime

Raging hormones barely explain the behavior of Sequin, a gay 16-year-old high school student who who wears a shirt embossed with glittery discs while hooking up with anonymous guys in the director Samuel Van Grivsen’s audacious, erotic and suspenseful feature debut, “Sequin in a Blue Room.”

Played by Brisbane-raised bisexual actor Conor Leach in a fearless breakout performance, the secretive Sequin lives with his well-meaning, patient single father (Jeremy Lindsay Taylor) while screwing strangers on a strict one-time-only basis (once out the door, he deletes their respective profiles from his hookup app). Yet when Sequin’s invited to a sex party, he connects with a young Black guy (Samuel Barrie) on a level he hasn’t felt before and finds himself wanting seconds. This leads Sequin to break his cardinal rule and meet again with B (Ed Wightman), an older man who can lead him to the mysterious hottie again but soon proves manipulative, dangerous and determined to keep Sequin for himself.

At least in conversation, Leach, comparatively loquacious and well-adjusted, is nothing like the enigmatic Sequin. The actor earned a theater degree at Melbourne’s Victorian College of the Arts in 2017, scored an agent through a graduate showcase, and will next appear in the Aussie TV miniseries “New Gold Mountain.” Here, Leach chats about the film, hookup apps and the status of that sequin shirt.

The films been called a coming-of-age thriller. Do you agree with that description?

Yeah, I think that’s pretty accurate. In the end it’s a film about someone trying to find their way out of loneliness. In that way, it’s “coming-of-gay.” It’s funny, because we filmed so much material that didn’t make it to the final cut that made it more of a drama. But seeing it for the first time I was shocked by how much of a genre film it is. It’s a thriller through and through and amazing to see a queer story told through those conventions.

Can you elaborate on the material that was cut out?

Sam cut out a whole storyline, actually, that aimed to give a little more context around the character. I remember he said he edited the film back to how it originally was in the first draft, which was a thriller, quick and fast, to shock the viewers. Some of the scenes that didn’t make it were beautiful and, in a way, it’s unfortunate they didn’t make it. But the final product, I think, is better for it.

Hello Blu-ray extras! How are you most like Sequin?

I struggle with this question, because I get asked how I relate to the character a lot, but I think part of acting is [thinking] nothing that this human [I’m playing] does is alien to me. If I was in these circumstances, I would do these things. But what I related to most was he just fears loneliness and a lot of us are afraid to admit that. I look back on who I was when I was 16, and I needed connection and love and we all still do, and I also wanted to appear strong and resilient. He wants to appear he has everything under control, and I definitely wanted to seem that way.

Conversely, how are you most unlike Sequin? Clearly youre not as economical, shall we say, with your words!

Yeah, I was watching the film thinking, “Sequin just does not speak! Use your words!” I’d say I’m more of a rule abider. I don’t like to rock the boat. On the surface I’m much more subservient to authority, and I can’t see myself doing anything as reckless as Sequin when I was 16.

I assume that means you werent trolling the apps during high school, either.

No. I was a goody-goody. I was a teacher’s pet! On the surface I was very different.

Why does Sequin cut people off, both the guys he hooks up with and even his own father, whom he keeps in the dark about what hes up to despite the guys clear desire to love, understand and protect his son?

While we were shooting I developed a detailed backstory that shined a light on how Sequin became like this. I wanted to know what happened and what motivated his actions. I genuinely can’t remember too much now, but I think Sequin loves the power it gives him. The sense of being desired after the encounter. You see that in the scene with B, when B says, “I’d love to see you again,” and Sequin says, “I don’t really see people twice,” and B asks, “Is that everyone or just me?” Sequin gets off on that, and it’s exactly what he wants. The sense of power and control it gives him — the sense of power that’s been robbed of him in other aspects of his life, I guess.

I read that Sam had his own idea of Sequins backstory and you compared notes after shooting and they differed wildly.

Sam never actually talked to me in too much detail about his vision for the character’s past. My imagining of Sequin’s upbringing was quite different in terms of the amount of privilege he had, his relation with his mum, even what his real name is. He gave me that creative license. I remember explaining my ideas to him after the film and he was like, “Oh my goodness, I would have been worried if you expressed all this to me before the shoot!” But that’s all work the audience doesn’t need to see. That’s for the actor. So I was very thankful we didn’t need to speak of it during the shoot.

To prepare for the role, did you spend a lot of time on hookup apps or ask friends about their crazier app experiences?

Yeah, I definitely looked into it. Oh goodness me. I heard some absolute doozies.

Would you be amused to learn that someone had a profile with your photo and Sequins name on Grindr now?

(Laughs.) Power to them. You do you.

Youre wearing a nice ochre-toned sweater today, Conor, but Ive got to ask: Wheres the sequin shirt, and do you ever pull it out on occasion?

I did _not_ keep it. Sam kept it and lost it — for a little while, it went missing — but it was so smelly and rancid. I cannot stress enough: It was rank, because it couldn’t be washed! It was meticulously sequined and lined; it was so stinky. But Sam keeps it hidden away so people don’t convulse, I guess!

Sequin gave off a mermaid vibe, almost, by wearing that shirt. And theres even a bit where B discovers one of its scales left behind on the bed. What was the intent?

It’s kind of an abstract choice that asks the audience to have their own associations and resonances. I very much developed my own backstory of how he might have come across this shirt or made it, but I don’t think I regarded it in quite that abstract associative way. They had it made for the film, though. It was still being finished on day one of the shoot! It took ages!

Has the film caused any controversy in Australia because the character is 16 and already has a prolific sex life? After all, the country has seen waves of moral panic about teenage sexuality over the years, notably some specifically over the work of acclaimed photographer Bill Henson.

I don’t think it’s caused controversy. I know there are people in Australia who wouldn’t like it. But we’ve been thrilled with the response it’s had in Australia. The conversations it’s started are amazing. Festival screenings are incredible. When I read the script, I thought, “I haven’t read something this bold and ambitious, let alone in Australia.” There’s still deep, deep conservatism here, so I’m very proud of how the film addressed something that needs to be addressed.

Watch Sequin In A Blue Room on Amazon Prime

It’s Called Polyamory

Tamara Pincus: It's Called Polyamory

It’s Called “Polyamory”: Coming Out About Your Nonmonogamous Relationships

The time has come to tell your friends and family about your preference for nonmonogamy. You’re on the cusp of self-liberation—so why does it feel so daunting, or even scary, like you’re about to confess to some sinister transgression? This is normal. You are not alone. Even in progressive families and communities, people who practice nonmonogamy are susceptible to misinformation and accusations of moral and emotional failings. Facing this requires its own coming out and education process.

Let this book be your roadmap for explaining the expansive intricacies of the consensual nonmonogamy spectrum. Tamara Pincus and Rebecca Hiles fuse personal experience and community research to break down the various incarnations of polyamorous relationship structures, the intersections of polyamory with race and gender, and the seemingly esoteric jargon of the lifestyle. If you absolutely have to explain what a “unicorn hunter” is to your auntie, Tamara has you covered.

“Can poly people raise children? Can they live normal, healthy lives?” Such questions, grounded in myths typical of those faced by sexual minorities, are eloquently answered, and the real dangers of being out as poly in a monogamy-centered society are frankly laid bare.

No matter the conversation you’re going in, It’s Called “Polyamory” helps you come out confident.

Get this book now on Amazon. Follow the link below

It’s Called “Polyamory”: Coming Out About Your Nonmonogamous Relationships

Chicago Gay Bars, Clubs, and Restaurants

Gay Bars Chicago

Side Track
Behomoth gay club drawing a diverse crowd, serving up slushy drinks & known for showtune nights.
www.sidetrackchicago.com

Second Story Bar
Small, old-school, cash-only local gay bar tucked away in low-lit digs above Sayat Nova restaurant.
www.facebook.com/secondstorybar

Progress Bar
Hip nightclub offering craft brews, DJs & dancing in flashy digs with a huge lightbulb sculpture.
progressbarchicago.com

Roscoe’s Tavern
Neighborhood gay & lesbian bar dating back to 1987 with a dance floor, pool table & outdoor spaces.
www.roscoes.com

Lark Chicago
Lark’s dining experience is hip, friendly and fun, perfect for date night, groups, weekday dinner or weekend brunch with the family in Boystown.
www.larkchicago.com

The Closet
Opened in 1978, this tiny, unpretentious LGBT bar features dancing, games & karaoke.
theclosetchicago.com



Photo of Lark Patio by Kurman Communications

Raising Rosie: Parenting an Intersex Child

Raising Rosie

Get this book on AmazonRaising Rosie

When their daughter Rosie was born, Eric and Stephani Lohman found themselves thrust into a situation they were not prepared for. Born intersex – a term that describes people who are born with a variety of physical characteristics that do not fit neatly into traditional conceptions about male and female bodies – Rosie’s parents were pressured to consent to normalizing surgery on Rosie, without being offered any alternatives despite their concerns.

Part memoir, part guidebook, this powerful book tells the authors’ experience of refusing to have Rosie operated on and how they raised a child who is intersex. The book looks at how they spoke about the condition to friends and family, to Rosie’s teachers and caregivers, and shows how they plan on explaining it to Rosie when she is older. This uplifting and empowering story is a must read for all parents of intersex children.

Get this book on Amazon: Raising Rosie

Follow Friday: Inspiring Black Trans Women

Black Trans Women

This Follow Friday is an opportunity to celebrate some amazing black trans women.   Black trans women face significant challenges in our society.   The US Trans Survey reports that trans women of color are more than twice as likely to be living in poverty and four times more likely to be unemployed.   The HIV rate among black trans women was an astounding 19%.   Black trans women, however, cannot simply be reduced to a collection of risk factors.  The amazing women below are each succeeding in their respective fields and fighting back against racism, transphobia, and misogyny along the way.

Alexandra Grey

Alexandra Gray
Alexandra Gray

twitter.com/1alexandragrey

Actress Alexandra Grey had a standout cameo performance on season three of the Amazon series Transparent, portraying a trans teenager in foster care (a story line that mirrors her own life).  You may also remember Alexandra from her portrayal of trans activist Marsha P. Johnson in an amazing Stonewall themed episode of Drunk History.

Thankfully, we will be seeing much more of Alexandra in the future.   She has a recurring role on the miniseries When We Rise.  This highly anticipated series, written and produced by Academy Award Winner Dustin Lance Black, tells the history of the LGBT rights movement in the United States beginning with the Stonewall riots.

Monica Roberts

Monica Roberts
Monica Roberts

twitter.com/transgriot

Monica Roberts, AKA the TransGriot (Gree-oh) is a native Houstonian, GLAAD award nominated blogger, writer, and award winning trans human rights advocate.

She’s the founding editor of TransGriot, and her writing has appeared at the Bilerico Project, Ebony.com, The Huffington Post and the Advocate.

Monica is a 2015 recipient of the Virginia Prince Transgender Pioneer Award.  Monica was a GLAAD Media Award Outstanding Blog Nominee in 2014.

Angelica Ross

Angelica Ross
Angelica Ross

twitter.com/angelicaross
Like Dane, Angelica Ross wears multiple has.  She is perhaps known best one of the stars of the web series Her Story, a role that has garnered her widespread acclaim exploring dating and relationship issues for trans and queer women.

She is also the founding CEO of TransTech Social Enterprises. TransTech is an incubator for LGBTQ Talent with a focus on economically empowering the T, transgender people, in our community.  TransTech provides services including online community and trainings, helping individuals get the tech credentials they need to pursue or grow their careers.

Fallon Fox

Fallon Fox
Fallon Fox

twitter.com/fallonfox

Fallon Fox is an American mixed martial artist (MMA). She is the first openly African American transgender athlete in MMA history.

Prior to her career in MMA, Fox had served in the Navy as a operations specialist 2nd class for the U.S.S. Enterprise.  Fallon was ‘outed’ as transgender and endured transphobia coming from some in in the UFC, but was undeterred.  Fallon has become a powerful advocate and role model appearing on ESPN, in the Advocate Magazine, and working as a partner in the Nike #BeTrue campaign.

Dane Figueroa Edidi

Dane Figueroa Edidi
Dane Figueroa Edidi

twitter.com/theladydane

Dane Edidi does it all. She is an actress, author, singer, playwright, poet, and priestess.   A native of Baltimore, Maryland, Dane’s poetry collection Baltimore, a Love Letter was written during and after the Baltimore 2015 Riots. The poem that gives this collection its name is both a beautiful reflection on the city as well as a call to action (it is my personal favorite of all of Dane’s poems).

Dane is the author of several novels and novellas including Brew, the fictional story of a trans teenager, which also draws inspiration from Baltimore where the story is set.

Find out more and buy Dane’s work at: www.ladydanefe.com

Elle Hearns

Elle Hearns
Elle Hearns

twitter.com/soulfreedreams

Elle hearns is a powerful activist, speaker, and community organizer.  Elle began her work organizing black trans women in her hometown of Columbus, Ohio in response to the murders of trans women including  Cemia Dove, Brittney Nicole Kidd-Stergis,Tiffany Edwards, and Betty Skinner.

Her activism brought her to Washington DC where she worked for Get Equal as a regional coordinator.   Elle is known for her leadership on grassroots initiatives including Trans Liberation Tuesday, as well as digital campaigns More Than Marriage, and Raise the Debate.

Elle Hearns has been involved in Black Lives Matter since the very beginning of the movement and currently serves as an organizing coordinator.

Lourdes Ashley Hunter

Lourdes Ashley Hunter
Lourdes Ashley Hunter

twitter.com/hunterlourdes

Healer, orator and academic, Lourdes Ashley Hunter has served as a transformative thought leader and change agent for grass-roots initiatives that impact the economic growth and leadership development of communities disproportionately impacted by state sanctioned violence for over 20 years. Lourdes’ research, curriculum development, global organizing and activism centers healing restoration in social justice change. co-founder and National Director of Trans Women of Color Collective (TWOCC)

Kat Blaque

Kat Blaque
Kat Blaque

twitter.com/kat_blaque

Fans tune in weekly to watch Kat Blaque on youtube, and especially the ongoing True Tea advice series.   With over 100,000 subscribers, Kat has become a powerful voice speaking candidly about feminism, racial justice, and gender identity & expression.

Kat can also be found contributing at Everyday Feminism and Huffington Post Black Voices.

This list is just a beginning.  Which black trans women inspire you and why?  Share your thoughts in the comments below.

Follow Friday: Black Trans Voices
Follow Friday: Black Trans Voices

 

 

5 Steps to Help Prevent Suicide

5 Steps to Help Prevent Suicide

Suicide is an important public health issue for all communities, but especially for the LGBT community. The American Foundation for Suicide Prevention reports that “in recent years studies have indicated a higher prevalence of suicide attempts among lesbian, gay, bisexual and transgender people.” (the full report is available here)

Knowing how to help others gives us confidence to reach out and connect with people who seem to be hurting or having difficulties. Here are 5 simple steps one can take that may ultimately save someone’s life.


Ask: “Are you thinking about killing yourself?” It’s not an easy question but studies show that asking at-risk individuals if they are suicidal does not increase suicides or suicidal thoughts.

Keep them safe: Reducing a suicidal person’s access to highly lethal items or places is an important part of suicide prevention. While this is not always easy, asking if the person has a plan and removing or disabling the lethal means can make a difference.

Be there: Listen carefully and learn what the individual is thinking and feeling. Findings suggest acknowledging and talking about suicide may in fact reduce rather than increase suicidal thoughts.

Help them connect: Save the National Suicide Prevention Lifeline’s number in your phone so it’s there if you need it: 1-800- 273-TALK (8255). You can also help make a connection with a trusted individual like a family member, friend, spiritual advisor, or mental health professional.

Stay connected: Staying in touch after a crisis or after being discharged from care can make a difference. Studies have shown the number of suicide deaths goes down when someone follows up with the at-risk person.

This resource was created by the Center for the Study of Traumatic Stress, and adapted from the National Institute of Mental Health

From GLSEN: 10 Ways Educators Can Support Asexual Students

How to support Asexual Students

For many GSAs and school communities, the topic of asexuality is either unseen, unheard, or not present. Whether or not you currently have any out asexual people in your GSA or school, celebrating asexual visibility is an important supportive act and may help asexual people discover, or come out about, their identities.

To begin in your support of asexual students, start by knowing these definitions:

Asexual: Someone who does not experience sexual attraction. (Defined by AVEN)

Aphobic/Acephobic: The discrimination against asexual or aromantic people.

Demisexual: Someone who only experiences sexual attraction after an emotional bond has been formed. This bond does not have to be romantic in nature. (Defined by AVEN)

Heteronormativity: The assumption that heterosexual identity is the norm, which plays out in interpersonal interactions and institutional privileges that further the marginalization of people who are not heterosexual, such as asexual, lesbian, gay, and bisexual people.

Here are some ways to deepen your practice in supporting asexual youth:

1. Remember that identity is multifaceted. A student’s identity as asexual will be impacted by other identities they hold such as their race, sexual orientation, gender, ability, and/or class. All these various identities may affect the way that this person interacts with their asexual identity and how others may perceive their identity operating outside of heteronormativity. That being said, students may hold multiple identities such as being asexual and also lesbian, gay, bisexual, queer, and/or trans.

2. Learn about the asexual identity spectrum. This will provide a foundation for learning about the nuances between asexual identities and establish a common language to speak about them. In doing your own research, you shift the burden of education away from the marginalized community and provide them the space of sharing their lived experiences instead of generalities or feeling like they are representing an entire identity.

3. Respect all types of relationships. There are nuances between asexual identities and relationships. Your students, including your asexual students, may be interested in romantic or non-romantic relationships, and that’s okay. Know that wherever they fall on the asexual spectrum, their relationships are valid, too.

4. Approach asexuality with an open mind and avoid misappropriation. Use resources such Information for Educators, provided by AVEN, and Ace Inclusivity by the Safe Zone Project to learn more about asexuality. Put in the effort to learn the correct terms and to use them in appropriate ways. It’s fine to have questions, but be open-minded and receptive while listening to those who decide to share, and again, be sure to start by doing your own research.

5. Promote asexual visibility. Celebrate Asexual Visibility Week every October! Also continue throughout the year by including asexual identities, experiences, icons, and history in topics talked about with your students.

6. Protect asexual students who’ve received aphobic harassment. Validate student experiences of harassment that are shared with you. Check the anti-bullying policies for your school and see how they can help you to intervene on behalf of your asexual students.

7. Affirm their experiences as asexual people. Listen to how people identify and affirm experiences that are shared with you, rather than questioning them. Use terms that students use to describe themselves, their feelings, and their relationships.

8. Include asexual-inclusive sex-ed curricula and consent information. Consent should be at the foundation of any topic regarding relationships, and asexual relationships should be included in these discussions. Sexual health educators should teach that not everyone is sexually active and also discuss the asexual spectrum with their students .

9. Don’t affirm asexuality for the wrong reasons (e.g., “Well, now no one has to worry about you getting pregnant or getting STIs anymore!”) Affirming should look like listening and validating what students share with you about their identity and experiences.

10. Understand what allyship looks like. If you yourself are not asexual, you hold a perspective that may prevent you from fully grasping the unique and abstract concepts that impact the daily experiences of members of the asexual community. This is a practice and not a destination. Continue to defer to people in the asexual community; learn from them sharing, and advocate for their visibility and integration whether they’re present or not.

When implementing these asexual-inclusive practices, understand that as educators and GSA advisors, you should provide education and conversations around asexual identity. If you have out asexual GSA members, be sure to create space for them to share and lead the conversation should they choose to. You can invite them to educate others with their own experiences and challenge misconceptions and stereotypes about asexual people.

As the adults in school, you can support your students by continuing to learn about all of the identities and experiences that they have. To keep learning about asexual people and identities, follow these links:

AVEN (Asexual Visibility and Education Network)

Demisexuality.org

Asexuality Archive

Asexuality: The ‘X’ In A Sexual World

The Invisible Orientation

Asexuality Top Ten

(reprinted from the GLSEN website)

Rehoboth Beach Gay Bars, Clubs, and Restaurants

Gay Rehoboth Beach

Aqua Bar and Grill
Popular LGBTQ restaurant features full bar, outdoor patio, Sunday brunch, tea dances, video bar & regular themed events.
www.aquarehoboth.com
57 Baltimore Ave, Rehoboth Beach, DE 19971 | Directions

Diego’s Bar and Nightclub
Diego’s Bar and Nighclub boasts Rehoboth Beach’s largest dance floor, plus a patio and plenty of outdoor seating. Regular happy hour specials.
www.diegosbarnightclub.com
57 Baltimore Avenue, Rehoboth Beach, DE 19971 | Directions

Purple Parrot
Gay bar & restaurant with burgers & beer, bright cartoon murals & regular live entertainment. The bier garten in back is a beautiful outdoor space with a key west feel, and a frequent gathering spot
www.ppgrill.com
134 Rehoboth Ave, Rehoboth Beach, DE 19971 | Directions

Port 251
This gay friendly spot has great food and unique drinks, not to mention an amazing Drag Brunch!
www.fb.com/Port251
251 Rehoboth Ave, Rehoboth Beach, DE 19971 | Directions

The Blue Moon
A wonderful place to go for dinner and a show. Bright, remodeled Craftsman cottage serving upscale American fare with regular live entertainment including local legend Magnolia Applebottom.
www.bluemoonrehoboth.com
35 Baltimore Avenue, Rehoboth Beach, DE 19971 | Directions

The Pines
This gay gathering spot is a classic tavern with a modern interpretation and unique menus. The Top of the pines is a dining, live entertainment, and event/catering venue space; a place where people can gather to eat, drink, and enjoy some of the best entertainment in the area including local legend Pamela Stanley.
www.thepinesrb.com
56 Baltimore Ave, Rehoboth Beach, DE 19971 | Directions

Victory Fund Endorses Alex Wan in Race for Georgia House District 57

Alex Wan Atlanta

Former Atlanta City Councilmember Alex Wan, a long-time Morningside homeowner and civic leader, has been endorsed by Gay & Lesbian Victory Fund in the race for Georgia State House District 57. Victory Fund (www.VictoryFund.org) is the only national organization dedicated to electing LGBTQ people to public office.

“LGBTQ Victory Fund endorsed Alex in his previous races and is pleased to endorse his bid to continue serving Georgians, this time under the Gold Dome,” says Mayor Annise Parker, Victory Fund President & CEO. “During his 8 years on Atlanta City Council and since, Alex has worked with friends and neighbors across the district, tackling the community’s shared challenges. He is well-positioned at this critical juncture in our history to continue fighting for those issues in the State Legislature.”

Wan announced his bid to represent Georgia State House District 57, following the December announcement by State Rep. Pat Gardner that she will retire after the 2020 General Assembly. This endorsement signals Victory Fund’s confidence that Wan is ideally suited to represent District 57 and will be a strong voice for equity and equality in the Legislature.

“I am honored by the support of Victory Fund,” says Wan, who has called District 57 home for more than 25 years. “As I have said before, Victory Fund’s candidate training and support played an important part in my public service journey. As I continue fighting for the progressive, inclusive values we share as Atlantans, I am proud to do so with the support of the LGBTQ Victory Fund.”

Wan served as an Atlanta City Council member for Council District 6, which overlays much of House District 57, for 8 years. Wan was the first Asian American and first openly gay man elected to the Atlanta City Council. Since that time, he continues his community service as the Fulton/Atlanta citizen representative on the Atlanta Regional Commission Board and as a member of the Mayor’s LGBTQ Advisory Board.

“I hope that my service to our district since I moved here over 25 years ago has demonstrated the kind of representative I will be,” Wan says. “Voters know my values. They know my commitment to service. They know that I’m accessible. And voters know that my experience on the Atlanta City Council and relationships I have developed with state and national elected officials will be invaluable.”

His professional experience includes the private, public, non-profit and higher-education sectors. He is Executive Director of Horizons Atlanta, a nonprofit that provides tuition-free summer enrichment programs for children from traditionally underserved communities. Wan holds a Bachelor’s in Industrial Engineering from Georgia Tech and a Finance MBA from Wharton Business School and has completed educational programs at Dartmouth and Harvard.

Members of the Georgia House are elected for two-year terms, with the election to be held in November 2020, taking office in January 2021. Wan notes that redistricting that results from the 2020 Census will take place in the Fall of 2021, and that we need legislators in place who will approach that process fairly.

For more information about Wan and his campaign: www.AlexWanForAtlanta.com.