Men

Meeting at Larry Kramer’s House as a Pandemic Began

by
AIDS Activist Andy Humm

Positive Thoughts
40 Years Ago: Meeting at Larry Kramer’s House as a Pandemic Began
By Andy Humm

Something was killing us gay men in 1981 and no one knew what was causing it. That summer there was one alarming article about it in The New York Times on July 3 (“RARE CANCER SEEN IN 41 HOMOSEXUALS”) based on a CDC report and two articles by out gay Dr. Larry Mass in the gay New York Native, including “CANCER IN THE GAY COMMUNITY.” While there were many gay groups in those days none of us stepped up to coordinate a community-wide response whether through a sense that health authorities would address it (ha!) as they did with Legionnaire’s Disease in 1976 or fear that a community that had just officially ditched the mental illness label in 1973 would now be linked with a deadly physical malady.

It took Larry Kramer, an Oscar-nominated screenwriter (for Women in Love), to bring us together. These cases hit his friends in the Fire Island fast lane hard. I only knew him as the author of the secret-spilling novel Faggots that had been condemned in gay movement circles.

Larry had also written an op-ed piece in the Times after the assassination of Harvey Milk in 1978 praising gay political muscle in San Francisco and condemning his hometown: “We are not ready for our rights in New York. We have not earned them. We have not fought for them.” (“Fuck him,” I thought at the time as a spokesperson for the 50-group Coalition for Lesbian and Gay Rights that campaigned for our gay rights bill. We had the votes for it in Manhattan — a much larger place than San Francisco — in 1971 when the Gay Activists Alliance first conceived it. But Queens was then Archie Bunker territory. And Staten Island? Fuhgeddaboudit. Who is this guy who has never been to one of our meetings?)

But when Larry wanted to get things moving, he called everyone he knew — friend and foe — and many who he did not. So as one of the “gay leaders” he looked down on, I got invited to a packed gathering at his Washington Square apartment on August 11, 1981, to hear from the doctor quoted in the Times, Alvin Friedman-Kien. Larry wanted us to raise money for research since none was forthcoming from government.

If all you know about this was Larry’s dramatization of it in the HBO version of The Normal Heart you don’t know what happened. (It is not in his searing stage version.) On HBO, a doctor is explaining what she is seeing with gay patients and flippant gay men are shouting, “C’mon, honey. I have an orgy to get to.”

As Larry later wrote more about the devastation of AIDS, he was indeed vilified by some for being “anti-sex” for saying things like, “Just stop fucking!” But at that gathering 40 years ago we listened intently, respectfully, and full of dread as the soft-spoken Dr. Friedman-Kien described the devastation he was seeing in his practice and hearing from other physicians treating gay men. You could have heard a pin drop.

We did not know what was causing clusters of deadly pneumocystis carinii pneumonia and the disfiguring purple lesions of Kaposi’s Sarcoma, an otherwise slow-moving cancer mainly of older Mediterranean men. We knew the gay patients were immunosuppressed but not why. Recreational drug use? Multiple STIs from multiple partners? There was even speculation about a viral agent — a prospect too frightening to contemplate with its attendant threat of quarantine. But the conclusive identification of HIV as cause would not come until three years later. We needed research.

If memory serves, Larry passed the hat at that gathering. I recall going back to Dignity, the gay Catholic group I still belonged to, and reproducing Dr. Mass’s article for our 300 members. At the next board meeting we voted for a $1,000 donation to this research effort — a very large sum in those days in a community with very little tradition of philanthropy. Most gay people were afraid to write checks to gay causes lest it expose them in a deeply homophobic culture.

Larry himself reportedly went to Fire Island and stood on the dock with a tin can to collect money for the effort and netted a total of $60. He did organize his friends into forming the Gay Men’s Health Crisis — but that would not be incorporated until 1982 to provide services and education that the government was not. He wanted GMHC to be much more aggressive in its advocacy to the point that he got removed from the board — a turn of events well-portrayed in his play, The Normal Heart.

Why wasn’t our response quick and intense? Some of it was denial and fear. You can see that now in the early lack of response to the devastating COVID pandemic today. The reports out of Wuhan in the early winter of 2019-20 ought to have put a worldwide public health response into action immediately. But we dithered and wished it away instead. (I have a copy of the New Yorker magazine a month before the city was locked down and there is not one word about COVID.)

In 1981, this was hitting us when we were still “pre-teenage” as a movement. It had only been 12 years since the Stonewall Rebellion and while that had sparked an explosion in gay activism, we were still a relatively powerless, underfunded, and mostly volunteer movement. Most gay people were not out — they just hoped to be left alone. I wrote for the gay New York City News back then and it was months before the health crisis became a regular subject. We did step up the fight for gay rights because without civil rights how were we to get the system to respond to our health crisis?

The Times and other mainstream media ignored it. There was no national TV news feature on it until Joe Lovett’s piece on ABC’s 20/20 in 1983 — the same year Michael Callen and Richard Berkowitz published “How to Have Sex in an Epidemic” based on the limited knowledge we had then and when GMHC was able to fill Madison Square Garden for a celebrity-studded circus benefit. Dr. Mass did keep writing about it for the Native but had an article (“The Most Important New Public Health Problem in the United States”) rejected by the Village Voice.

We did pass the city gay rights bill in 1986 and I went into AIDS education for youth at the Hetrick-Martin Institute. By 1987 though — impatient with the community’s response to “the plague” — Kramer gave the speech that led to the formation of ACT UP. Activism — fueled by desperate, dying people — got into high gear. But it would not be until 1995 that effective treatments were developed, by which time millions had died and millions more had been infected.

Politicians and human beings in general are loathe to admit they have a plague in their midst. That’s how they get out of control. The question about so many challenges we now face — from the pandemic to climate change — is when we are going to trade some short-term comfort for long-term survival. Those meetings need to be convened everywhere — from dinner tables to town halls to Congress.

Andy Humm, a gay activist since 1974, has been co-host with Ann Northrop of the weekly national GAY USA television show since 1985. This column is a project of TheBody, Plus, Positively Aware, POZ and Q Syndicate, the LGBTQ+ wire service. Visit their websites – http://thebody.com, http://hivplusmag.com, http://positivelyaware.com and http://poz.com – for the latest updates on HIV/AIDS.

Udo Kier and Michael Urie on their queer cross-generational bond in ‘Swan Song’

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Arthouse icon Udo Kier and co-star Michael Urie on their moving, queer cross-generational bond in ‘Swan Song’

An Aging Queen Gets His Swan Song
By Chris Azzopardi

Swan Song is available on Amazon Prime

German character actor Udo Kier is on camera holding old prints of press photos from his previous films over his face like a Halloween mask. He jokes that if a journalist dare ask a terrible question that he considers daft, the photos, not Kier himself, will answer back. Luckily those prints never made their way back onto camera during our conversation, which also included his “Swan Song” co-star Michael Urie.

“Swan Song,” the new film from openly gay “Edge of Seventeen” director Todd Stephens (“Another Gay Movie,” “Another Gay Movie 2: Gays Gone Wild”), wouldn’t be the film it is without Kier’s brilliant performance at the heart of it. He’s a leading man for the first time, rightly earning him some of the biggest buzz of his 50-year career. But there’s no question the film’s bittersweet coda, a scene that serves as an elegiac tribute that Kier shares with Urie (“Ugly Betty”), is something special in its own right. Poignantly, it honors older generations of unapoletically queer elders who enriched the lives of younger LGBTQ+ populations, demonstrating that, without them, queer life now wouldn’t be the same. 

Though Kier, also openly gay, has appeared in more than 220 films over the span of five decades (among them: almost all of Lars von Trier’s films, as well as Dario Argento’s “Suspiria” and Gus Van Sant’s “My Own Private Idaho”), he’s never played a character as proudly gay as Pat Pitsenberger, a legendary Ohio hairstylist known as the “Liberace of Sandusky.” Women loved Mr. Pat, as he’s called, for making them look, and consequently feel, beautiful.

Now in his advanced years and living in a nursing home, retired from doing hair, he’s more than earned the right to be a bitter old queen. Mr. Pat survived the AIDS epidemic, lost friends, was at the forefront of gay liberation. In this new gay world, he’s an outsider all over again, his glory days behind him. But when one of his former clients dies and he’s asked to do her hair, he has an opportunity to reclaim the history that made him who he is.

Kier, speaking from Los Angeles, and Urie, at home in New York, recently chatted about shooting their powerful scene, what attracted them to the film and the legacies they hope to leave behind.

What made you agree to do this project?

Udo Kier: For me, I got the script and I liked it. I said, “I want to meet Todd, because I want to see if I can work with him.” If I wouldn’t have liked him, I wouldn’t have made the film. But I liked him.

He came to Palm Springs, and we talked about it. His script was very strong. And I wanted to shoot as chronologically as we could. I wanted to start in the retirement home, which we did. I stayed there a single day on my own with no camera, because I wanted to feel the bed, I wanted to see where everything was. And then we went into town.

For me, the importance (of) this film is the different generation — my generation — and going back (to Ohio), and people don’t recognize me anymore. You see, I’m from Germany, and in Germany … if two men lived together, and the neighbors were hearing some erotic noises, they could call the police and the people were arrested and put in jail. Now they’re holding hands at Applebee’s.

So I think it’s so, so wonderful (that) in (a) relatively short time, two men or two women can get married and adopt children. It’s amazing. It’s amazing that, after 50 years in the business working with genius directors like Lars von Trier and Gus Van Sant, the critics now write that it is my best film.

Michael Urie: It was Udo from the beginning. When I was offered the job, he was already on board. That was very exciting to me, ’cause I’ve been a longtime fan of both the filmmaker, Todd, and Udo. But it’s this quiet observation that we as queer people have when we’re younger. Most queer people do not grow up in households with other queer people, and so we look elsewhere to find ourselves to see what we could be.

Michael, your character Dustin acknowledges that Pat, even though they had never met, made it easier for him to be openly gay. Who are the queer people you never personally knew who paved the way for you to be openly gay?

Urie: I’m from Texas, and I grew up in a suburb of Dallas called Plano, Texas. I was in drama in high school, and I was reading great queer literature and (there was) theater: “Angels in America” and Terrence McNally plays. I was exposed to this stuff, and I was aware of it and titillated by it. But there was a guy in my high school who was tall, strapping, extremely well dressed, very attractive, and pretty obviously gay. When I picture him in my head, he’s 30, even though he was, of course, 17 at the time. I looked to him and his strength and his power and his beauty. He was, in many ways, my Mr. Pat. I still think back on him. I still think about how awesome he was.

As gay men, do either of you see parts of yourself reflected in Pat?

Kier: I think, first of all, Michael, you did amazing, good work. (Our) scene on the couch works so well because I don’t move one inch. If I would have had a conversation, that would have been not good. But just having the cigarettes with the ashes, and listening, listening, listening made it stronger than if I would have answered you.

I’m more like an actor who likes to underplay (the character). That’s why, also, I never rehearsed with Todd, because Todd is a director who likes to rehearse. I learned from Lars von Trier, (whose) favorite line is, “Don’t act.” I always think about, especially if you’re in a movie like “Swan Song,” when you have a strong story, a strong situation, which is funny at times, and sad at times, there’s no need to do acting numbers. A lot of actors, they’ll start with their back to the camera, by the chimney, and then they’ll turn around and they’ll talk to the floor, and finally they’ll come up to the camera. No, no, no, no.

Yesterday I saw 20 minutes (of “Swan Song”), and today I will see the whole film at Outfest, and it’s a strong film. I hope a lot of people will see it. I showed it before to a few friends. Not many. I don’t have many friends. But I showed it to a few friends, and they all said, “Oh, I cried and cried. And I laughed.” So that is good. If you’re able to tell a story where people laugh and cry, that’s good.

It’s amazing how many really young people liked the movie. You know, I was afraid that (they’d say), “There’s an old man.” But it’s not true. There were young, young people. And one girl, yesterday, said to Todd, “This is one of my favorite films ever.” And I said, “Wow. Maybe she only goes once a year to the cinema.”

I got choked up throughout the movie thinking a lot about my older self and what I might be like when I’m Pat’s age, how I might look back on my life. Do you feel like you share something in common with Pat when it comes to being gay and aging?

Kier: That’s why I accepted the role. Todd told me a lot about Pat and when I got there (to Sandusky) I talked to Pat’s friends and (they) told me how he was smoking and things like that. It’s definitely the generation, and we’re very lucky that in Sandusky, the main street became our set. So in that green suit, I went to have a glass of chardonnay, and they all know me. There was the secondhand store and across the street was the theater, so it became all real. It was not a film where you have trailers. No, no, no, no. It was a real film. It was all from my heart. It wasn’t calculated. I never in the whole film calculated a situation. When I come out and say, “I’m back!,” that was a copy of Liberace. Because when Liberace was performing in Las Vegas, he ran through the stage with all (his) rings and said, “You paid for them.”

Because this movie says a lot about the legacies we leave behind, how do both of you hope others will remember you?

Kier: Well, in my case, because Mike is so much younger, doing it for 50 years, being Andy Warhol’s Dracula, Andy Warhol’s Frankenstein, people will, I guess, remember me (for those roles). But, for me, it’s really amazing that Variety and all the critics write that (“Swan Song” is) my best film. I feel a little bit strange about that. Making so many films with great directors, like “My Own Private Idaho” with Gus, and now they write it’s my best film. I know why. You know why? Because I have the leading part, and you follow the character. If you have a guest part in a film, people say, “He’s very good. He’s a good villain, yeah, yeah, yeah.” But they cannot follow you through the story, from folding napkins to wearing wonderful shoes when he’s dead (laughs).

Urie: I guess I want my legacy to be: “He was part of cool things. And he was always himself.” I’ve been in a lot of queer movies and queer theater and —

Kier: Strange movies.

Urie: (Laughs.) I’ve been in a lot of strange movies. And there was a point when I was first on TV and I was playing a very flamboyant gay character and I was told, “Don’t do this again. Don’t do any more of these. Don’t get pigeonholed.” And I thought, “There’s so many different kinds of gay people.” And I do play gay parts all the time, and they are different. We have so many different ways of being LGBTQ, and there are so many stories to tell.

I’m so proud to be part of this one, which I saw with a group at the Rooftop Film Festival in Brooklyn (with) a group of predominantly heterosexual people who loved it. That is a really exciting thing, too, to be a part of a movie that you would maybe call a gay movie because the protagonist is gay and the central conflict has to do with his homosexuality, but this is a straight person’s gay movie. Straight people love it. I think that’s a testament to Udo and a performance at the center that can compel and delight and break your heart. It’s a piece of life, watching it. And working on it felt like walking into the movie.

As Udo said, we took over that town — or they took over that town, and I showed up. I showed up at a certain point in the shoot and I felt like I was walking into a movie — not onto a film set, but into a movie. There he was in his green suit, and we didn’t talk much before we started shooting. He wanted our first interaction to be our first interaction. I’m used to going on stage and making people laugh, and here I am in this movie, reacting to a person. This is a guy walking into my space, and it was actually very easy because he was bringing so much over to me.

Michael, what do you think this film says about aging, in particular regarding the queer demographic?

Urie: That’s very interesting because now the way queer people navigate the world — marriage, parenting — there is a more traditional society-based way of getting older. An older person gets taken care of (by) family and loved ones. But I think all of us as queer people, we’re not going to have a life that society deems as normal. That is one of the things that we fear: that we will grow old alone or have no one to take care of us. Certainly it’s a fear that I have and I think about.

But what’s so beautiful about Mr. Pat and the way in which I relate to Mr. Pat is that, even though now it’s 2021 and queer people are accepted — I can walk down the street holding hands with my partner and I don’t feel any shame anymore or any danger, and I actually feel proud to do that; we’re legal, we’re allowed to marry, we’re allowed to have kids, we have full protections under the law, for the most part, I can blend in, I can assimilate — I don’t want to.

I think that is something that the older generation, when marriage equality became a thing and when people started getting married, thought, “Why would we need that? We’ve been fine without that. We don’t wanna be like straight people; we don’t wanna get married.” It’s two different things. It’s the right to be married, versus the need to be married. Also, I’m proud of who I am, and I’m proud to be different, and I don’t need to assimilate. I can be someone else. I think that I want to always have a little bit of Mr. Pat. I don’t wanna walk down the street and have people think, “That’s a straight person.”

Kier: (Laughs.) You have to get a green suit! Get a green suit and just smoke like (him).

Yesterday I looked up, because I hear (it) now so many times, the word “queer.” I wanted to look in the dictionary (to see) what it means. And queer means, actually, strange. If you go on the dictionary, it says queer means strange. Um, (I) definitely did a strange performance. (Laughs.)

So you might call your performance queer?

Kier: Not me. It’s just a performance. It’s not my swan song. I have made already four films after that. And so it’s not my swan song. That was the danger of it: I thought, “Oh my god, ‘Swan Song.’ I’m 77 years old soon, so is that maybe my last movie?” No, no, no. I had to go to Lars von Trier and quickly make a movie. And that’ll be my swan song.

Swan Song is available on Amazon Prime

This interview has been condensed and edited for clarity

‘Love, Victor’ stars Michael Cimino and George Sear on bringing gay sex to their YA series

by
Love Victor

Normalizing Queerness, One Gay Kiss at a Time
‘Love, Victor’ stars Michael Cimino and George Sear on bringing gay sex to their YA series and impacting LGBTQ+ youth

By Chris Azzopardi

“Love, Victor,” now in its second season, refuses to navigate coming out as simply a one-note experience.

The gay teen-romance, a series spinoff of the groundbreaking “Love, Simon” feature film, launched its debut season last year on Hulu. The first season was created for Disney+, but the company declined to air it after filming was complete. The show, Disney execs decided, was too grown-up for its young audience. Season 2, then, was created with Hulu audiences in mind, which means more mature emotional themes and a good amount of gay nooky — in fact, an entire episode is devoted to the show’s romantic leads, Victor (Michael Cimino) and Benji (George Sear), having sex.

This season, the series follows Victor as a newly out high schooler, from all sorts of Benji-Victor (“Venji,” as they’ve been collectively coined) romantic side plots –– meeting the parents, learning about gay sex — to how homophobia, when complicated by deep-rooted cultural and religious beliefs, has to be unlearned.

Before you read any further, know that this interview with Cimino and Sear, who talk about all that making out (and why they opted out of an intimacy coach for those sex scenes), includes some spoilers.

You guys owe me a few boxes of tissues for all the crying I did last night binging this season.

George Sear: Yeah, it’s an emotional one.

Michael Cimino: It’s a roller coaster, for sure.

Sear: I, myself, was tearing up yesterday because I watched the first three episodes, and particularly the scenes with the parents.

I also just have to start by saying that if I saw two boys making out as much as you two do in this season of “Love, Victor” when I was 16 years old, I would have made out with a lot more guys. Like, where were you in 1995?

Cimino: I was still, um, not even a thought! I wasn’t even a thought in either of my parents’ heads. But no, I think we’re moving in the right direction. I don’t think we’re in a very different time, but I think that we’re moving in the right direction (with) shows like this, where young LGBT youth can watch it and be like, “Oh, this is normal. This is OK.”

I feel like a lot of straight teens are like, “Oh yeah, I can make out with this person or this person, and it’s completely fine.” But it should be exactly the same for the LGBT community. They should feel no pressure and (it) should be completely normal to just kiss people in public.

Or have sex with your boyfriend and have your mom or dad catch you, because that also happens with gay people.

Cimino: Yes — yes, it does. It totally does. And I think that, obviously, right now, we’re definitely talking about… this show is definitely (about) queer Latinos and I love that about it. I think that it’s kind of exactly like every other straight teen show but except through a queer lens. I love that part about “Love, Victor.”

Sear: It does show the difficult realities of coming out in today’s age, which is a difficult thing for most people, but also just the joy in celebrating who you are and embracing who you are on the other side of that. And living your truth.

I think gay sex has been really neglected on television and I was pleased to see the second season of “Love, Victor” really go there with the sex. What did you appreciate about the way that this season tackled sex, George?

Sear: I think just having LGBTQ writers bring their stories and their experiences into the script brings this authenticity and realness to the stories. So the writing is all there. You know, as an actor to be able to play this part and then have such great quality writing is really kind of everything. What about you, Mike?

Cimino: Honestly, the whole representation of Victor’s sexual awakening and his sex life with Benji definitely relies a lot on George and I’s chemistry. I think that George is — sorry to give you your flowers on here — so easy to work with and so incredibly understanding and so willing to just do things and try different things (to) see what works and what doesn’t.

Sear: Yeah, it felt very explorative on set, didn’t it?

Cimino: Yeah, for sure.

Sear: They did say, “Do you want an intimacy coach?” and we felt, to be honest, both really dedicated to these characters and wanted to honor this writing and we just sort of felt like we had a closeness and were able to do that on set.

Cimino: We actually completely opted out of having an intimacy coach. George and I both felt like we were very comfortable with each other already. We really just went for it, and I think that that kind of reads on screen, where it felt very explorative. It felt very new and exciting, and I think that’s something that’s really, really cool.

I don’t know how you guys identify, but there’s this conversation about straight people playing queer roles and if you are straight, you know what, you did your job. You were so believable in these parts. I really felt this relationship was a real relationship.

Cimino: Thank you.

Sear: Thank you for saying that.

Cimino: That means a lot to hear because that is obviously a topic for discussion, and I’m glad it’s a conversation we’re having. I think conversations such as those should be had, but I think, realistically, it relies purely on an actor-to-actor basis. I feel like there are actors that are taking LGBT roles and not representing the community in an accurate way. They’re taking it as a cash grab and then they don’t represent the community afterwards, where it’s like you’re not advocating for the community. They’re not donating money to LGBT charities, they’re not trying to do things that will help the LGBT community, but they’re just taking the role because it’s a cash grab or, “Oh, it seems like it will make a difference in my career.”

What has it been like for both of you to bring this Venji romance to life on screen?

Sear: It’s an ever-ongoing journey, particularly the difference between Season 1 and Season 2. Being on Hulu this time around, being able to tell more realistic stories, it’s been great to be able to continue playing these characters and exploring their journeys collectively and individually and just exploring it in other areas, really, that we maybe weren’t able to do in Season 1 (on Disney+). So, it’s been great, and I hope we get the chance to get back to it.

Cimino: Definitely.

You have to do it again. You cannot leave me like you left me at the end of this season.

Sear: No, no. We’ll manifest it.

Cimino: Yes. For sure, for sure. We’ve got to manifest it.

Michael, are you Team Venji or Team Vahim?

Cimino: Oh, man. I feel like… I don’t know. I haven’t been able to watch the show in its entirety, so I can’t really say. I’m so torn.

Sear: Yeah. He doesn’t want to let you down on this interview, that’s what he’s saying.

Cimino: I feel so torn.

Sear: No, I think ultimately you probably just want Victor to be happy.

Cimino: Yes, exactly. We just want Victor to be happy.

That’s a pretty good non-answer.

Sear: That’s a very good deflective answer, isn’t it?

Cimino: I’m just… I’m confused, OK!

My opinion on the third season is that you three just form a throuple.

Sear: Hey, we’ll pitch it.

Cimino: (Laughs.) Yeah, yeah, yeah, we’ll pitch it. We’ll put you in the “special thanks.”

Because the show has had an immense impact on LGBTQ+ youth — I mean, it would have changed my life, like I told you, when I was 16 — what’s one letter you’ve received from a queer fan that really made you feel like what you were doing here was really affecting lives?

Sear: Off the bat, one that sticks out to me — because there have been many — (was a) message from someone who’s in the military. I don’t think they had a very good experience with their sexuality, obviously, with the way things are in the military. And they said watching the show really just made them feel some sort of acceptance, and heard.

Cimino: I’ve gotten so many messages, but some of the ones that stick out to me the most are (from) people that are literally Latino and they’re like, “This is my exact story and this is exactly what I’ve been going through with my mom, or my dad, or my uncle.” It’s crazy to know that we’re still not in that place where people can just accept their children or their family for just being true to who they are as people. I think that it’s really inspiring for me as an artist to continue to push myself harder and to continue to represent the community in an accurate way because I get to see the impact it’s making on people’s lives.

This interview has been edited and condensed for clarity.

Chris Azzopardi is the Editorial Director of Pride Source Media Group and Q Syndicate, the national LGBTQ wire service. He has interviewed a multitude of superstars, including Cher, Meryl Streep, Mariah Carey and Beyoncé. His work has also appeared in The New York Times, Vanity Fair, GQ and Billboard. Reach him via Twitter @chrisazzopardi.

Upstairs Inferno: The Deadly 1973 Gay Bar Arson

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Upstairs Inferno

Watch Upstairs Inferno now on Amazon Prime

On June 24, 1973, an arsonist set fire to the Up Stairs Lounge, a gay bar located on the edge of the French Quarter in New Orleans, Louisiana. The fire ultimately killed 32 people and severely injured countless others. Some bodies were never identified. One-third of the New Orleans chapter of the Metropolitan Community Church were killed in the blaze, including two clergy. The primary suspect was never charged with the crime. The tragedy did not stop at the loss of lives. There were also the delayed injuries: lost jobs, fear, public ridicule and severed families. The devastation was compounded by the homophobic reactions and utter lack of concern by the general public, government and religious leaders. The fire permanently altered lives and was the root of many lifelong struggles. Despite the staggering historical significance, few people know about the tragedy.

With unique access (on-camera interviews from survivors, witnesses and friends/families of victims) and a fresh perspective (incorporating long lost artifacts, newsreel footage and photographs that haven’t been seen in decades), Upstairs Inferno vividly examines this oft-forgotten story and is considered the most authoratative film about the tragedy and its aftermath.

Narrated by New Orleans own New York Times best-selling author Christopher Rice, Upstairs Inferno (96 min) is a mesmerizing mix of crime drama and human connections that captures the heartbreaking feelings of unconditional love and overwhelming loss. An unsettling snapshot of what was, until the early hours of June 12, 2016, the deadliest single event to affect the gay community in American history, Upstairs Inferno gets inside the hearts and minds of a handful of vibrant people who experienced one of the most important and underreported moments in LGBT History.

“While Upstairs Inferno recounts a historic event that occurred in the U.S., its underlying message crosses cultural boundaries”, Director Robert L. Camina emphasizes. “It’s easier for people to hate and fear things they don’t understand. No matter your background or how you identify, in the end, we are more alike than we are different. I think Upstairs Inferno reminds of us that.”

“We made the film hoping audiences would walk away from it with a renewed call for compassion: Compassion for those unlike us. Compassion for those who are hurting. Compassion for those in need. Because there definitely wasn’t a lot of compassion when the deadly arson occurred.”

“Sadly, a lot has happened in the world since the film premiered and we began spreading the message of compassion and the impact of hate”, Camina continues. “It sickens me that mass murders have become so common. I think Upstair Inferno’s message is as timely as ever: the power of family, friends and forgiveness in the shadow of immense pain. Hopefully, by the Up Stairs Lounge Arson survivors sharing their stories, it can provide strength to others in need.”

“Over five years ago, when I decided to tell this long overdue story, I didn’t want to make a film that was simply a stagnant exposition of facts. I wanted to humanize the story and put faces on the tragedy. I wanted to honor the victims and all those impacted by the tragedy, giving them the respect and dignity they were denied so many years ago”, Camina continues.

“As we observe the 45th Anniversary of the deadly arson, I’m grateful that Upstairs Inferno is now accessible to audiences around the world via streaming platforms, because the victims, their loved ones and their stories should never be forgotten again.”

Watch Upstairs Inferno now on Amazon Prime

CHRISTOPHER RICE (Narrator) Famed New Orleanian and New York Times best selling author provides UPSTAIRS INFERNO with a thought provoking, pitch perfect narration, sensitively complimenting the film’s emotionally raw interviews. He is the head writer and an executive producer of THE VAMPIRE CHRONICLES, a television show based on the bestselling novels by his mother, Anne Rice. Together they penned RAMSES THE DAMNED: THE PASSION OF CLEOPATRA, a sequel to her bestselling novel THE MUMMY OR RAMSES THE DAMNED. His most recent novel, BONE MUSIC, was released in early 2018. Much of his writing is heavily influenced by the years he and his Mom lived in New Orleans. Rice considers New Orleans his hometown.

ROBERT L. CAMINA (Writer/Director/Producer) wrote, directed and produced several short films before premiering his first full length documentary, RAID OF THE RAINBOW LOUNGE (2012) to sold out audiences, rave reviews and a media frenzy. RAID OF THE RAINBOW LOUNGE recounts the widely publicized and controversial June 28, 2009 police raid of a Fort Worth, Texas gay bar that resulted in multiple arrests and serious injuries. The raid occurred on the 40th Anniversary of the Stonewall Inn raid. The film, narrated by TV icon Meredith Baxter, screened during 33 mainstream and LGBT film festivals across the world. The film won 11 awards including 8 BEST Film Awards. The film also received attention from the Office of the White House, Department of Justice and a division of the U.S. State Department. In 2015, Camina premiered his second full length documentary, UPSTAIRS INFERNO. Camina is honored that BOTH documentaries received invitations to screen at the Library of Congress. Camina also takes pride in being a public speaker, concentrating on LGBT history and LGBT rights.

Watch Upstairs Inferno now on Amazon Prime

Positive Thoughts: The Activist Doctor

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Demetre Daskalakis

Demetre Daskalakis, MD, MPH, is tackling HIV prevention nationally
By Alicia Green

Demetre Daskalakis, MD, MPH, remembers the day he felt called to become an HIV doctor: April 23, 1995. He was a college student working on a display for the AIDS Memorial Quilt when he witnessed people paying homage to their lost loved ones.

“I remember saying, ‘My job is to not let anybody get sick or die from HIV/AIDS,’” says Daskalakis, the director of the Division of HIV/AIDS Prevention at the Centers for Disease Control and Prevention (CDC).

But Daskalakis, 47, is not your average doctor — he’s also a gay activist with strong ties to the LGBTQ+ community.

“When I realized that the single largest health threat to my community was HIV, the intersection became really clear for me,” Daskalakis explains. “It’s important and possible to be both a physician and an activist and to work in government and have an activist heart.”

For eight years, he was an attending physician at the New York University School of Medicine before serving as the medical director of three HIV clinics at Mount Sinai hospital.

In 2014, Daskalakis joined the New York City health department as assistant commissioner of HIV/AIDS prevention and control, his first job in public health.

Daskalakis was promoted to deputy commissioner of disease control in 2017. During his three years in that role, he led NYC’s “Ending the Epidemic” initiative and helped reduce HIV diagnoses to a historic low.

Having effectively reduced HIV transmissions and deaths in America’s largest city, Daskalakis is now tackling HIV at the national level. Since December 2020, Daskalakis has led HIV prevention efforts at the CDC. He aims to apply what he learned in New York City to the epidemic across the country.

Health equity is top of mind for Daskalakis. He plans to identify ways to improve HIV outcomes for all by interrupting racism, sexism and other isms. Additionally, as the senior COVID-19 data and engagement equity lead at the CDC, he has been tasked with ensuring a fair and equal distribution of COVID-19 vaccines. 

“We also want to really identify ways that we can cross-link HIV with STDs [sexually transmitted diseases] and viral hepatitis as well as mental health and drug user health to be able to achieve a more global approach to addressing syndemics,” he explains.

Daskalakis also hopes to eliminate the divide between people living with HIV and those who could benefit from prevention strategies through what he calls “status-neutral care” — giving patients the same initial treatment and care regardless of HIV status.

“The status-neutral framework is addressing stigma at its root,” he says. “Let’s not worry about building a service based on a test result. Let’s worry about who the people are and what we can do to make them comfortable getting services and care.”

Despite being called a “radical doctor” (for doing outreach at sex clubs, for example), Daskalakis insists that what makes him stand out in the fight against HIV is his love for the communities affected by the virus.

“All I’ve ever done is listen and learn,” Daskalakis says. “When you listen to the community and the science and figure out how to marry them, really good things happen.”

Alicia Green is an assistant editor for POZ. This column is a project of TheBody, Plus, Positively Aware, POZ and Q Syndicate, the LGBTQ+ wire service. Visit their websites – http://thebody.com, http://hivplusmag.com, http://positivelyaware.com and http://poz.com – for the latest updates on HIV/AIDS.

Conor Leach: The Crazy Side of Queer Connection

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Conor Leach

‘Sequin In a Blue Room’ star Conor Leach talks playing a slutty queer teen
By Lawrence Ferber

Watch Sequin In A Blue Room on Amazon Prime

Raging hormones barely explain the behavior of Sequin, a gay 16-year-old high school student who who wears a shirt embossed with glittery discs while hooking up with anonymous guys in the director Samuel Van Grivsen’s audacious, erotic and suspenseful feature debut, “Sequin in a Blue Room.”

Played by Brisbane-raised bisexual actor Conor Leach in a fearless breakout performance, the secretive Sequin lives with his well-meaning, patient single father (Jeremy Lindsay Taylor) while screwing strangers on a strict one-time-only basis (once out the door, he deletes their respective profiles from his hookup app). Yet when Sequin’s invited to a sex party, he connects with a young Black guy (Samuel Barrie) on a level he hasn’t felt before and finds himself wanting seconds. This leads Sequin to break his cardinal rule and meet again with B (Ed Wightman), an older man who can lead him to the mysterious hottie again but soon proves manipulative, dangerous and determined to keep Sequin for himself.

At least in conversation, Leach, comparatively loquacious and well-adjusted, is nothing like the enigmatic Sequin. The actor earned a theater degree at Melbourne’s Victorian College of the Arts in 2017, scored an agent through a graduate showcase, and will next appear in the Aussie TV miniseries “New Gold Mountain.” Here, Leach chats about the film, hookup apps and the status of that sequin shirt.

The film’s been called a “coming-of-age thriller.” Do you agree with that description?

Yeah, I think that’s pretty accurate. In the end it’s a film about someone trying to find their way out of loneliness. In that way, it’s “coming-of-gay.” It’s funny, because we filmed so much material that didn’t make it to the final cut that made it more of a drama. But seeing it for the first time I was shocked by how much of a genre film it is. It’s a thriller through and through and amazing to see a queer story told through those conventions.

Can you elaborate on the material that was cut out?

Sam cut out a whole storyline, actually, that aimed to give a little more context around the character. I remember he said he edited the film back to how it originally was in the first draft, which was a thriller, quick and fast, to shock the viewers. Some of the scenes that didn’t make it were beautiful and, in a way, it’s unfortunate they didn’t make it. But the final product, I think, is better for it.

Hello Blu-ray extras! How are you most like Sequin?

I struggle with this question, because I get asked how I relate to the character a lot, but I think part of acting is [thinking] nothing that this human [I’m playing] does is alien to me. If I was in these circumstances, I would do these things. But what I related to most was he just fears loneliness and a lot of us are afraid to admit that. I look back on who I was when I was 16, and I needed connection and love and we all still do, and I also wanted to appear strong and resilient. He wants to appear he has everything under control, and I definitely wanted to seem that way.

Conversely, how are you most unlike Sequin? Clearly you’re not as economical, shall we say, with your words!

Yeah, I was watching the film thinking, “Sequin just does not speak! Use your words!” I’d say I’m more of a rule abider. I don’t like to rock the boat. On the surface I’m much more subservient to authority, and I can’t see myself doing anything as reckless as Sequin when I was 16.

I assume that means you weren’t trolling the apps during high school, either.

No. I was a goody-goody. I was a teacher’s pet! On the surface I was very different.

Why does Sequin cut people off, both the guys he hooks up with and even his own father, whom he keeps in the dark about what he’s up to despite the guy’s clear desire to love, understand and protect his son?

While we were shooting I developed a detailed backstory that shined a light on how Sequin became like this. I wanted to know what happened and what motivated his actions. I genuinely can’t remember too much now, but I think Sequin loves the power it gives him. The sense of being desired after the encounter. You see that in the scene with B, when B says, “I’d love to see you again,” and Sequin says, “I don’t really see people twice,” and B asks, “Is that everyone or just me?” Sequin gets off on that, and it’s exactly what he wants. The sense of power and control it gives him — the sense of power that’s been robbed of him in other aspects of his life, I guess.

I read that Sam had his own idea of Sequin’s backstory and you compared notes after shooting and they “differed wildly.”

Sam never actually talked to me in too much detail about his vision for the character’s past. My imagining of Sequin’s upbringing was quite different in terms of the amount of privilege he had, his relation with his mum, even what his real name is. He gave me that creative license. I remember explaining my ideas to him after the film and he was like, “Oh my goodness, I would have been worried if you expressed all this to me before the shoot!” But that’s all work the audience doesn’t need to see. That’s for the actor. So I was very thankful we didn’t need to speak of it during the shoot.

To prepare for the role, did you spend a lot of time on hookup apps or ask friends about their crazier app experiences?

Yeah, I definitely looked into it. Oh goodness me. I heard some absolute doozies.

Would you be amused to learn that someone had a profile with your photo and Sequin’s name on Grindr now?

(Laughs.) Power to them. You do you.

You’re wearing a nice ochre-toned sweater today, Conor, but I’ve got to ask: Where’s the sequin shirt, and do you ever pull it out on occasion?

I did _not_ keep it. Sam kept it and lost it — for a little while, it went missing — but it was so smelly and rancid. I cannot stress enough: It was rank, because it couldn’t be washed! It was meticulously sequined and lined; it was so stinky. But Sam keeps it hidden away so people don’t convulse, I guess!

Sequin gave off a mermaid vibe, almost, by wearing that shirt. And there’s even a bit where B discovers one of its “scales” left behind on the bed. What was the intent?

It’s kind of an abstract choice that asks the audience to have their own associations and resonances. I very much developed my own backstory of how he might have come across this shirt or made it, but I don’t think I regarded it in quite that abstract associative way. They had it made for the film, though. It was still being finished on day one of the shoot! It took ages!

Has the film caused any controversy in Australia because the character is 16 and already has a prolific sex life? After all, the country has seen waves of moral panic about teenage sexuality over the years, notably some specifically over the work of acclaimed photographer Bill Henson.

I don’t think it’s caused controversy. I know there are people in Australia who wouldn’t like it. But we’ve been thrilled with the response it’s had in Australia. The conversations it’s started are amazing. Festival screenings are incredible. When I read the script, I thought, “I haven’t read something this bold and ambitious, let alone in Australia.” There’s still deep, deep conservatism here, so I’m very proud of how the film addressed something that needs to be addressed.

Watch Sequin In A Blue Room on Amazon Prime

Happy Birthday Karl Frisch

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Karl Frisch for School Board

Today is Karl Frisch’s birthday. Karl is turning 41, so I am joining many of his friends and supporters by donating $41 to support his campaign for School Board in Fairfax County, Virginia (Providence District).

I first met Karl Frisch many years ago working on a political campaign, and after so many years of working brilliantly on other people’s campaigns, I am excited to seeing him run for office himself.

As his partner Evan Ayars stated, “If Karl wins, he will be the first openly LGBTQ local elected official in Fairfax County history. But that isn’t why he is running. He will be a bold voice on the school board fighting for equity, equality, environmental sustainability, strong fiscal stewardship, and educational excellence for every student regardless of who they are or where they live.”

Please join me in celebrating Karl’s campaign by making your own $41 donation at:

https://secure.actblue.com/donate/kf-bday

Karl is not taking money from  corporate political action committees or special interests, which makes your support all the more important. Please donate what you can and join me in wishing Karl a Happy Birthday!

At the Crossroads of Islam and Homosexuality

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At the crossroads of Islam and homosexuality

The following piece was written by a good friend who wants to remain anonymous for the time being. You may remember that a couple years back he wrote Young, Muslim, & Halfway Out of the Closet

Stop and think for a second about how many gay people you know. Now, of those people count on your hands how many would also call themselves Muslim? I would be surprised If you could hold more than one finger up. I am a gay cisgender man who comes from a Muslim background and I’m here to try to explain why we almost cease to exist in society.

I was born and raised in a fairly moderate Muslim household in the UK. I went to Arabic school every Saturday for the best part of a decade in an attempt to learn the language and hear the whimsical fables of the many prophets. As a child, I developed an irrational fear of death after hearing stories of heaven and hell foretold by my mother. This fear and the fact that I hadn’t yet developed critical thinking skills to question what I was doing meant I continued to keep up appearances of being faithful. Praying tended to feel more like a chore and I would rarely complete my ‘5 a day’.  With the hormones of puberty came my sexual awakening. Pornography was bittersweet at first as it came with a lot of guilt. However, as I began to tepidly explore my sexuality further through chatting to likeminded people on social media, the guilt waned whilst the questions arose.

In the summer before I started university I came out to my sisters and friends who all took it well and with the dawn of university came a number of different ‘sinful’ experiences including drinking – even if it was very weak cider. I had held out until university to be free and I didn’t even feel guilty anymore. I mean why should I feel guilty about being myself? At the freshers’ fair I remember sheepishly signing up to the LGBT+ society after the guy on the stand spotted that glimmer in my eye and I’m proud to say that 2 years on I have represented my society as the BAME representative, despite not being out to my parents!

Homosexuality in Islam is very much still a taboo subject, we are elephants in the room, seen but not heard. This is why I wanted to take on the role to provide us, and other queer people of colour with a voice – think ‘The Little Mermaid’. Since, the subject is rarely discussed, many backwards beliefs remain. For example, many including my father still believe it is a ‘choice’ and you are allowed to be gay as long as you’re essentially celibate your whole life – because we all want to be monks right? In some Muslim countries you can be killed for ‘practising’ your sexuality and honour killings within British Asian communities are not uncommon. This fear has driven an increase in marriages of convenience between gay men and women or arranged marriages where the spouse is being deceived in plain sight.

Our university recently had its annual ‘Islam awareness week’ where the Islamic society held a marquee on campus containing a myriad of information about the religion, beautiful Arabic calligraphy and free samosas. Anyone would be a fool not to at least be curious. The more I have discovered my sexuality, the more I have lost touch with my faith so stepping into this space felt strange yet familiar. After exchanging my coupon for some free food I sat down and began chatting with some friendly hijabi girls. I surprised myself as I began to open up to them about why I had lost faith. None of them reacted badly to my confession and I left questioning whether I was doing the right thing again. However, ultimately they retorted the same celibacy spiel that airs from the mouths of the majority of imams (mosque leaders) in this country.

There is also a severe lack of media representation when it comes to queer Muslims. Once in a blue moon there will be a low-profile documentary putting us under the microscope but this can lead people to believe that we are just that, a microscopic problem that is hidden away. Putting us side by side with major characters in films, books and television is how we can truly become visible as invisibility in popular culture means invisibility in real life.

At the start of the year the roles reversed and I became the guy on the LGBT stand at the freshers fair seeking out shy baby gays. One of them being a wee Scottish girl who told me she, ‘can either be a proud, out lesbian or a happy Pakistani Muslim girl but cannot ever be both’. Over the year I have watched this once timid girl disprove her own beliefs by discovering the pride in her sexuality whilst maintaining her religious sobriety in gay clubs and she has now succeeded my role as BAME and Faith and Belief rep for the LGBT+ society. If a girl who struggles to make 5 foot can make herself seen, so can you! If you ever want to see you parents smile rather than tut when a gay couple comes on ‘First Dates’ you have to show yourself. It will not be easy but change in them will only come from a change within you…

Be brave,

from someone like you.

Crystal Meth: How to Ask for Help

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Crystal Meth: Asking for Help

If you think you’ve got a problem with meth , recognizing that you have a problem is the first step in getting help.

A lot of people think they can kick meth and other drugs on their own, but that’s not going to work for most people. To get started, you need to find someone you can trust to discuss your problem with.

A friend or loved one can be a good option at first, particularly if you think they can help you without being judgmental or trying to use your problem to control you. A supportive and understanding person outside of your family or friends may be your best option, especially if that person has faced a problem with meth before. If you can’t talk to your significant other, a siblingor a parent, you may want to approach a counselor, a doctor, a religious leader, a former user on the road to recovery, or a hotline operator.

So, how do you ask for help? Try nine simple words “I have a problem, and I need your help.”

Practice those words over and over until you can say them to the person you want to turn to for help. If your intended helper doesn’t know you use meth, or even if he or she does know, you need to continue: “My problem is meth.” Saying it is very powerful-you take your problem out of your head and puts it where others can help. There! It’s not a secret anymore, and you’ve asked someone for help. Now, to make certain that you get the help you need to deal with your problem, here are some things you can do to make getting help for you easier on the person you asked.

Have a vision of what “help” means to you right now .

  • If you still need to talk with someone to figure out what that “help” is, ask your helper to help you find and show up for either a Crystal Meth Anonymous meeting or a counselor. You can start by looking at www.crystalmeth.org .
  • If you just want to get your use to a level where it isn’t running your life, tell your helper that you want to learn to use less. Let them know that you want to cut back on your use and ask them to help you find a “harm reduction” program or specialist. In the DC area, a monthly harm reduction group takes place at the DC Center.  Find out more at 202 682-2245.
  • If you want to stop using completely, tell your helper that you want treatment to stop using and what type of insurance you have, if any.  Don’t let a lack of money or insurance stand in your way, though. Let your helper know that there are lists of treatment centers available online  or by calling 1-800-662-4357.

Have this guide handy when you ask for help, too . If emotions keep you from saying too much, you can always point to words on the page to ask for help and to describe the help you need. The website at the bottom of this page can help your helper and you, too!

Overcoming a drug problem is not easy . Quitting drugs is probably going to be the hardest thing you’ve ever done, but it will be one of the things you’re most proud of having done, too. It’s not a sign of weakness if you need professional help from a trained drug counselor or therapist. Most people who try to kick a drug or alcohol program need professional assistance or treatment programs to meet their goals.

Once you decide start a treatment program–whether inpatient or outpatient or through 12-step meetings (CMA)–try these tips to make the road to recovery less bumpy:

  • Tell your friends about your decision to stop using drugs. Real friends will respect your decision. But also keep in mind that you may need to find new friends who will be 100% supportive. Unless all of your friends get off drugs together, you won’t be able to hang out with the buds you got high with before. It may hurt like hell to give up your friends, but you’re choosing the life you want for yourself, not they life that they want you to have.
  • Ask your friends or family to be available when you need them. You may need tocall someone in the middle of the night just to talk. If you’re going through a tough time, don’t try to handle things on your own – accept the help your family and friends offer.
  • Accept only invitations to events that you know won’t involve drugs. Going to themovies is probably safe, but you may want to skip a Friday night party until you’re feeling more secure. Plan activities that don’t involve drugs. Go to the movies or to museums, try bowling, or take a class with a friend.
  • Have a plan about what you’ll do if you find yourself in a place with drugs. The temptation will be there eventually, but if you know how you’re going to handle it, you’ll be OK. Establish a plan with your friends and family so that if you call home using a code, they’ll know that your call is a signal you need to get out where you are fast.
  • Remind yourself that having a drug problem doesn’t make you bad or weak. If you slip up and use a bit, talk a counselor or someone in your treatment program as soon as possible. There’s nothing to be ashamed about, but it’s important to recognize the slip quickly so that all of the hard work you put into your recovery is not lost.

If you’re worried about a friend who has an addiction, use these tips to help him or her, too. For example, let your friend know that you are available to talk or offer your support. If you notice a friend using again, talk about it openly and ask what you can do to help. If your friend is going back to drugs and won’t accept your help, don’t be afraid to talk to a counselor. It may seem like you’re ratting your friend out, but it’s the best support you can offer.

Above all, offer a friend who’s battling a drug problem lots of encouragement and praise. It may seem corny, but hearing that you care is just the kind of motivation your friend needs.

Staying Clean

Recovering from a drug or alcohol addiction doesn’t end with a 6-week treatment program. It’s a lifelong process. Many people find that joining a support group can help them stay clean. There are support groups specifically for teens and younger people, too. You’ll meet people who have gone through the same experiences you have, and you’ll be able to participate in real-life discussions about drugs that you won’t hear elsewhere.Many people find that helping others is also the best way to help themselves. Your understanding of how difficult the recovery process can be will help you to support others -both teens and adults – who are battling an addiction.If you do have a relapse, recognizing the problem as soon as possible is critical. Get help right away so that you don’t undo all the hard work you put into your initial recovery. And don’t ever be afraid to ask for help!

Originally created by the DC Crystal Meth Working Group which is not currently active.

Crystal Meth: Asking for Help
Crystal Meth: Asking for Help

David Richardson Running for District 27 House of Representatives

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David Richardson

David Richardson, currently serving in the Florida State House of Representatives, is running to serve in the U.S. House of Representatives in the 27th District.    If he succeeds, Richardson will be the first openly gay man elected to Congress from Florida.

David Richardson is a bold progressive running for US Congress in order to advocate for responsible and forward-thinking solutions to the problems we face on the local, state and national levels. Upon winning election to the Florida House of Representatives in 2012, David became the state’s first-elected openly gay state legislator. In Tallahassee, he quickly earned the respect of his colleagues thanks in part to his groundbreaking work on criminal justice and prison reform, support for sensible gun violence prevention measures, promotion of traditional public schools, and steadfast commitment to equal rights for the LGBTQ community. In Washington, David will stand up to the Trump Administration by fending off its assaults on our progress while offering sensible alternatives to the extremist Republican agenda.

He’ll work to implement a single-payer healthcare system, reinstate the Paris Climate Accord, reform our prison and criminal justice systems, and protect as well as expand upon the great strides we have made in this country on the rights of women, Hispanics, African Americans, the LGBTQ community and other minority groups.

David is exactly the kind of fierce and tenacious Democratic lawmaker we need in DC right now. His candidacy presents us with our best opportunity in the entire country to send a courageous and principled progressive to Congress, to flip a Republican district blue, and to fight back against a president who lacks the moral authority to lead.

Find out more at www.davidforflorida.com.